It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
