I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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