Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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