tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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