No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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