So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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