He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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