the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My ass is underappreciated
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
