As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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