just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need to stop coming to work sober
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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