It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
