Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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