The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
