dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
