need another drink. this is the easiest way
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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