I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if only i could text you this smell
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
