it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
