I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
