Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
