Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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