...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
