so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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