All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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