I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
