you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize