Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
