What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
