I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
