So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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