doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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