Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My breasts were aching with rage.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
