i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
