Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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