FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
