I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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