Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
