Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Farmville is her only friend.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
