dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
