He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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