How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
