I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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