party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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