I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
