would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
