she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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