This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
