she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
