We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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