FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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