But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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