In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
