so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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