i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
