Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
