i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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