mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
