I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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