I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
