Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
