I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
